Brutally Honest Horoscope

 

 

 

Aries

Aries dives headfirst into everything, it takes think after leap approach, which often results in lessons learned the hard way, and if by some unfortunate string of events you are his /her friend, you will also learn them hard way.

 

 

Taurus

Taurus representatives are true gastronomes. They have a huge appetite and know how to enjoy food. Taurus doesn’t care about petty fleeting things like love career etc. Taurus just wants to eat and to eat well.

 

 

 

Gemini

Ok we all know Gemini love to talk, like talk a lot, all the time no matter the subject or occasion they just keep talking.Don’t fall in the trap to say they over share everything and talk a bit much to them, for you will spend rest of the day hearing about how they’re trying to talk less… which defeats a purpose.

 

 

 

Cancer

If you know Cancer you know that mofo is overemotional, clingy, born nagger, suspicious little bastard that will doubt all your intentions and cross check everything.You see that big read heart on the side of Cancer, thats not for you ,you can’t be trusted with that, end of story.

 

 

Leo

King of the jungle, natural born leader my ass.These lazy, arrogant, self-centered narcissists think world revolves around them, that they are somehow predestined to an easy effortless life and that everyone else is obligated to treat them as King or Queen.Got some sobering message for you punks….that’s not the case!

 

 

Virgo

To be honest I feel sorry for Virgo, it’s like they were thrown on this planet to try everything for the first time and to suffer for everyone. If you are a Virgo you are on a path of constant self-criticism, worry, shyness a path of seeking goodness in humankind and a path of inevitable disappointment.Tough luck my friends, tough luck.

 

 

 

 

Libra

One important thing about Libra, don’t rely on them for anything. Why?You may ask. Because these little cutie pies want to keep everyone happy, they can’t say NO to anyone! This in turn has some hilarious consequences where you get f*cked along with five other people since Libra promised to go out on a six different dates that same night at the same time.

 

 

Scorpio

These are highly obsessive, compulsive and jealous people. Talking about love there is a big difference between Scorpio women and Scorpio men. Scorpio women are sexy, magnetic, mysterious, with great capacity for kindness and a desire to do good in the world. As for Scorpio men, these dudes are “think with your dick” types.

 

 

Sagittarius

You gotta give it to them they do love people and people love them.But boy they have absolutely no chill, they will say literally anything in your face, tactless bastards. One of the main traits of this sign is they have no patience, which basically means Sagittarius woman will have multiple affairs trough her life as for Sagittarius man,that Robbin Hood will be very eager to fire arrow up your ass as soon as possible.  Bullseye!!!  

 

Capricorn

What can you say to Capricorn to change his/her mind… the answer is nothing. This stubborn, stiff bunch can’t accept that there are other points of view in universe except their own, or people that live by different rules, they might even try to impose their traditional values aggressively. Oh one more side note, don’t ever f*ck up with Capricorn they don’t forgive, ever.

 

 

Aquarius

Those born in the sign of Aquarius are not from this planet, seriously they are not. These cold, heartless, insensitive bastards come from distant planet Vulcan with Spock as their most notable representative. We can’t really talk about love feelings and such thing when we talk about Aquarius simply because they do not know about it. For the end interesting fact Aquarius ruling planet is Uranus. Live long and prosper!

 

Pisces

Pisces are absolute opposite of Aquarius, too sensitive, fearful, sad, dreamy its like their main goal in life is to escape reality.This is where you find artist, painters, musicians, basically bunch of crazy people.As for love as you could guess they will be in love with you.

 

 

 

Photo credits: Daily Horoscope

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