With the New Year coming up, you may find yourself realizing that your relationship isn’t really making you happy anymore.
If you’re starting to feel hesitant about continuing forward, you may be looking for surefire signs that you’re ready to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You’re likely at a stage in life where you’re wondering whether or not this person is “the one.”
Here are a few big hints that you might need to cut your losses:
1. Hanging out with them is kind of a chore.
Let’s just say, you never totally look forward to it. It’s more like something you need to check off of your to-do list. Think back to Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life. We all saw how Rory treated (poor, poor) Paul. If you found yourself relating, do this person a favor and cut them loose.
2. You don’t want them to meet your parents.
Are you above the age of 18? Then these types of interactions shouldn’t be embarrassing. It’s always tough to have your new guy or girl meet your mom and dad, but when you try your hardest to avoid it entirely, you’re doing it for a reason. Simply put, you don’t think it’s worth it.
3. You can’t talk to them about the future.
Does your significant other totally freeze up when you talk about future plans together? And not just “future” as in “how many kids you’ll have,” necessarily — this person doesn’t even feel comfortable discussing next weekend. Feeling shut out, or not in control of your own schedule, is pretty much the worst. If your partner can’t even give you a clear answer on whether or not he or she feels like tacos or burgers tonight (or any night) it’s probably time to break up and move on.
4. You can’t list (at least) three solid things you have in common.
Physical attraction is nice, but it isn’t everything. In order for a relationship to last, the two of you need to grow together and be on the same field. The best couples have their fair share of differences, but certain things are super important to have in common.
While it’s not mandatory, it’s always kind of nice to share religious or political views with your partner. If you happen to like the same music and media, even better. Think long and hard, and if at least three big topics don’t come up, you might be setting yourself up for disaster by sticking with the relationship.
5. You still find yourself having a more-than-average amount of crushes.
Listen, you’re not going to be attracted to just one person your entire life. The difference is, when you find “the one,” other people typically just fade into the background. You pretty much lose focus on dating and form your own little happy bubble.
If you notice yourself fantasizing about other people, it’s probably because you’ve already mentally checked out of this relationship. Thinking someone is cute is one thing, but wondering what your sixth date would look like, and whose personality your children may inherit, is definitely not normal.
6. He or she makes you feel bad about yourself.
Long term relationships should make you want to improve as a person. But you need to do it for you, first and foremost. If you’re left feeling pretty bummed out because you’re not your partner’s “dream girl/boy,” cut them loose so that they can try and find the person who is. You’ll be so much happier in the long run.
7. You don’t want to experience new things with him or her.
Relationships are all about taking adventures together. Just pretend you’re offered an incredible trip to Hawaii for work. If you’re lusting after the alone time (and shudder at the thought of your significant other joining you — since they’d probably find a way to ruin it) you need to get out of your relationship. It’s totally normal to have space as a couple, but if your significant other won’t enhance a big experience like that, it’s just not worth your time to stay involved.
8. The arguments are getting just a little too heated.
Couples fight. It happens. In fact, sometimes it’s good that it happens, since it proves that you’re each your own person — and often, it can help strengthen a relationship. But here’s the thing — fighting should never get violent, or mean-spirited. Things shouldn’t be thrown, nor should put-downs be yelled.